The last few days have been a challenge. At times I've felt really depressed and locked inside myself. I've been trying to cope with it as best as possible. Sometimes through mood swings and splitting. Often through being very childlike. Because I feel so weak sometimes, like I can't do much on my own and [...]

The bend

Since last night I'm feeling quite alright. Slightly numb but at least not over sensitive. Not dissociative and I think more in tune with myself and in contact. There is just this one little off thing.. I've been so all over the place that I can't help thinking.. yeah right. What's around the bend? But [...]


The meeting I had today was really nice, it was good to see my colleagues again. Most of the time it was difficult for me to stay in the moment. Sometimes I felt like I would get a panic attack because I'm overwhelmed by all the stimulation and I don't want to let it show. [...]


Everything feels so amplified. Every sound, people around me. Talking and acting normal while I percieve them as sirens. At the same time I'm in a state of dreaming, a bit like sleepwalking. Or as if I'm from another universe and don't belong here. While I'm just sitting inside a café where I've already been [...]