When I've come back to myself I'm the most fun but you will never know that because you were already gone.
Lying awake, wondering how I could ever be so stupid thinking that anyone could love me enough to stay with me.. though all that baggage I'm carrying. That anyone would dare to look through it all, actually see me and not run away. But will support me while I safe myself from drowning. Clearly I'm [...]
Just got back home. Already contemplating my end while I was just a few miles away from my mom. I'm horrible. Tried to talk with some friends but there is this barrier of not being wired the same. Making me feel like a burden, that I'm too much or just not taken seriously. Guess that [...]
That's what I did before.. But I let you in and now my heart and nerves lay bare and I'm dying inside. Got to let go and I'm trying, some days are easier then others. Wishing I was numb again but it's impossible. The fact that I understand why you're gone and the fact that [...]
Slowly memories are coming back to me, so I will write about them. With every blog post you'll discover a bit more about my past and you're not the only one. Last few days I've been talking to someone who has similar difficulties and it really makes me feel less alone. Guess some people are [...]
Sometimes when I'm at my moms I go on her computer to look at the past through photo's or I go through old photoalbums. To make some sense out of things that happen. Simply because I have huge time lapses, times that I don't remember. When I do remember them because I see the pictures, [...]