Kimono :3

Yesterday I finally did some work in the kitchen! Home made chicken soup for my fp and it really worked because today he's feeling a bit better. I'm so happy! Made me feel really good, also to cook dinner although it's something that can make me very nervous. Today there was a beautiful winter sun [...]

Living with PTSD

There are memories in my past that I can never speak of. Not that I never tried. I kind of had to when therapists used EMDR on me, which made the PTSD symptoms a bit less. There were loads.. really crazy insane things.. There still are many. After years I can still only tell what [...]


Was just emptying my phone because it was full. Had all the pictures from New York still left so thought lets do some last post about the trip. The one who invited me wishes he had never met me so I'm not going to write about all that drama. However, I'm still thankfull for the [...]


Yesterday morning my favorite person was here. Somehow we spoke about a girl I know.. that I used to go to the gym with, she cuts my hair.. she's like so many things that I am not. She's super fit and disciplined with working out, she's so beautiful and also, she works as a creative [...]


This post will be one of the most difficult to write, because I'm actually feeling really bad right now instead of the almost usual numbness. Thought I'd be happy to finally feel something but this just really sucks and makes me wish to go back to feeling empty inside. The thing is, someone is really [...]

The family dynamics

At the moment I am reading a very interesting blog post, with the intention to find out more about my (past) behavior. In this post I will lay these theories against my own experiences. This probably will be one of the most complex things I've ever written so far on my blog, so I hope it does [...]