My evenings are becoming longer with the days. Often I’m staring at the ceiling thinking, keeping me from sleep. In the morning I don’t feel much, not even for getting out of bed.
The sun has changed something inside of me. Something that causes loneliness but at the same time makes me want to hide away when I’m with people. It’s a confusing feeling. It’s hard to decide what to do. I guess this aloneness is inside of me wherever I am. At times I wonder how my friends from last summer are doing but I know I left them to get away from myself and don’t contact anyone. I wouldn’t know what to say. Guess I’m not really a good friend and pretty selfish anyway.
I want to feel inspired but that never goes anywhere. Trying to feel different but that only makes me repeat the patterns I’ve grown into. There is this nothingness inside of me. When I don’t feel anything. It makes the days so long, it’s as if I’m just waiting for the time to go by.