Okay last saturday morning was a bit of a fuck up.. but the rest of the weekend went better until finally it was sunday night and Daddy came home 🙂
Also on sunday the project that a friend and me were working on is now at my place!! 😀 So it’s time to reveal a little bit!
It is my very own crib!! The bedding is made stronger so it’s safer now 🙂 There are several options for bondage and play but that’s something for later! We put it in the middle of the living room, so I can look all around and Daddy can keep an eye on me 😉 The extra bondage parts of the crib are in my shelter for now because it should be a safe space for me in the first place. Of course I personalized the crib, cleaned it so it smells like my home and it has my plushies in it and stuff.. :3 Lol oh and I’ve washed all the stuffies too 😛 The fun thing is that being in my crib is such an instant age regressor and it feels so relaxed and safe to be little for Daddy :3
My friend also gave me some bedroom accessories and put them on the wall for me. Think my bedroom is sort of finished now.. although I must say.. working on my home is a bit of an ever ongoing thing for me. Or at least it has been.. just like changing my wardrobe when thinking I have found myself and later on realise I’ve been in some weird mental state all this time.. whoohoo.. Although I think that this time I’m not going to change because it feels so natural and unforced.
Last week Daddy really spoiled me! He got me some super cute new plushies and also some dvd’s.. My favorite is the one about Rufus Wainwright, I’ve watched it already and next week I’m going to watch it with my mom as well! 😀 He’s amazing and does his own thing, which is perfect! Been listening to his music alll day 🙂
Daddy and I have started a different type of training since this week.. it’s not full body anymore each time but we’re doing compartment training since this week. So we can train whenever we have time and won’t need resting days so often 🙂 I’m slowly starting to tackle some core exercises so there’s less frustration, yay! It really helps so much that we stopped drinking caffeine! I’m feeling less stressed and triggered, also when I am triggered I calm down faster. As a bonus it’s fun that we’re making new contacts at the gym too 🙂
I’m not saying that everything is going smoothly lately.. I’m still very impulsive but I’m already thinking about ways to tackle that a bit. Maybe I should put my money in like little envelopes, so I have some pocket money every week. That’s really cute :3 I’m not getting in to trouble with it but it’s just annoying because it makes me feel out of control.. because I don’t understand where it comes from. Also.. lately the trauma related dreaming has come back big time But that’s probably because everything is going so well and there finally is some space in my mind to process the past. One dream was really scary though.. In my dream Daddy left me for someone else 😥 After waking up I felt sooo horrible! But then we talked and after going to the gym it became a better day.
Oh.. last week I wrote about that horrible day at work when I was triggered by a costumer, right? Well my colleagues were really sweet when I saw them the other day and gave me a really big chocolate heart with a message about how they appreciate my work at the store. So that was super cute! Got so many lovely people in my life! ❤
Next thursday I’m finally getting my diagnosis and hear about a plan for the right treatment, so I’m very excited about that!
Many good things! Making me a little bit tired though.. all the changes!! It’s interesting how everything sort of falls together in my life, I’m sort of finding my own way and with Daddy, we’re really growing together by working on recovery together and exploring our kinks in the relationship in such a natural way 🙂
It feels as weird to me as when I hear myself say that I like working out! I’m just so used to failure but things do change if you just keep making little steps forward every day.