Happy Easter everyone! 🙂
Last night after staying in bed by myself for a while the kids asked me to come join playing Zelda. All four of us were chilling on the couch. It was an old version of Zelda with that whole kids vibe going on. Also I’m chilling in my yellow care bear onesie.. today with added pig tails and bunny ears 😛
Why I’m saying this is that eventhough the kids are here right now.. I still can be little in a way. Nothing sexual but it’s not like I have to adult all the time. That only drains me, because I can’t be myself if I don’t allow myself to have these spontanious enthousiastic responses, to cute stuff.. for example. If I hold it all in I’m starting to feel so miserable and tired.
Of course I’m not going into a little mindset or space when the kids are visiting and I’m not doing anything extreme. I’m just trying to find a way that works for everyone. Being an adult who enjoys kids stuff and it seems like they kind of understand that. It’s fun, light, playfull and makes me happy just like it makes them happy.
Yesterday my water shoes were tried on and I’ve heared that my bedroom is the nicest room of the appartment because of all the happy colors. My living room has some little things here and there but not much but my bedroom has cute colors and stuffies and all kinds of little things..
It’s fun when we like the same things and can laugh about that. I’m still walking around with stuffed animals too. I’m the one who will join in their world sometimes, who goes with them in the rollercoaster and watch kids movies and things like that 🙂 and doesn’t feel like.. I’m just doing this for them but because I really like it too 🙂 and that’s just great for all of us.
They don’t know that they are way older than me if I’d go into little space 😛 that’s a little secret between me and Daddy. Yes, sometimes I almost bite my tounge because I can’t call him ‘Daddy’ of course..
I certainly don’t want to bother them with it but so far everything is going well. I’m just a bit different but all four of us are so I guess that makes it easier 🙂
Six months ago I never thought that I would live together.. especially not in my appartment. Or that I’d have kids over at my place.. Or that I’d be so relaxed in a relationship.. With our kinks just naturally being a part of our life. That everyone can be themselves, even when it’s difficult. And that we so openly share everything, wishes, needs, fantasies, limits, feelings.. even the difficult things. That’s so empowering. To work on recovery together as well.. I’m working out and feel happy about it.. who would ever believe I’d say that.
I always wanted my kinks to be real, to be natural and pure and part of a relationship and my daily life and here we are. Cannot be more natural and real than this. What I mean is that I don’t want to play pretend, I don’t want a fantasy to only be acted out during a scene.. that’s not my thing. I rather just live it.
This afternoon and evening I’m at home alone and I’m going to spend some time deep in little space and just chilling until Daddy comes home 🙂 Doing all the things I crave to do.. and it doesn’t matter what it is.. the thing I miss is going really deep into that mindset and just forget all the troubles in life. So I can just be :3 That I can express my feelings whenever they come up. Not like when being an adult and you have to keep it in, not feeling allowed to show emotions or be sensitive and all that bullshit that society says.. eugh. You all just smile and play pretend, I’d rather cut the crap and be pure. People can judge littles but really they are missing out and growing burnouts.. don’t be jelly.. just be 🙂