Getting ready for work

Got this weird feeling in my head. It’s not really a headache but doesn’t feel so good. Had some extra water but it’s not helping. This morning I woke up feeling depressed again. The same as how I went to bed. My fp went away again, this time for a few days in a row.

Last night RopeMarks came over, we didn’t do any bondage stuff because I didn’t feel like it. Just chilled a bit.

This afternoon I’ve got to work again. I’ve dressed up for it but I feel like crap. Been obsessing about self harming since I woke up but I didn’t do anything because I came to this point: it doesn’t help anyway.. why even begin. It’s fucking pointless.

A few months ago I had forgotten what it feels like to be so down and depressed. To be in such a negative state of mind and how difficult it is to cope with that and feel better again. Well, now I know.. can it stop now please? I remember, okay?!

So that’s what is left of me

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