Fucking ouzo

Blehhh waking up in the middle of the night.

Yesterday I went out for dinner with my family to a greek restaurant. It was fun. My family laughed a lot about me. I noticed that. They said I was really funny, not sure if I remember why. Maybe it was the alcohol.

Often when I do get a chance to drink I tend to over do it a bit. Numbing my intense thoughts and feelings. Slowing everything down so I can breathe. Maybe I notice the difference when I drink and want more of it because it’s such a relieve. I understand my mom. I do. I’m not angry with her. She said she had not been drinking for 3 weeks. So proud of her. Now she made an exception but will go on again she said. 50 days sober until it’s her birthday. I’m sad for her that this is so difficult for her. Because there must be so much pain lying underneath.

After dinner I didn’t go home, went home with my mom and stepdad. Asked my mom if I could come and stay with her because I miss her. I’m in my old bedroom now. I’ve been used here in this bed.. when I was 15. I remember what he said.

Often I sleep in my sisters bedroom when I’m staying here but today I couldn’t. Going to try to sleep some more Xx

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