Amsterdam

Everything feels so amplified. Every sound, people around me. Talking and acting normal while I percieve them as sirens. At the same time I’m in a state of dreaming, a bit like sleepwalking. Or as if I’m from another universe and don’t belong here. While I’m just sitting inside a café where I’ve already been a few times before. So it’s not new to me at all. I know this mentally but emotionally I’m so disconnected. I can barely feel anything. My meeting here will be exciting or it should have made me nervous. I know this but I just fill it in because emotionally I’m clueless right now. Am I typing this? On autopilot. Guess a part of me is still here.. There’s a mirror on the wall in front of me. I look at it but don’t recognize myself. It’s a bit double. I know but I don’t feel. Everything fits but it doesn’t.

Last summer I never thought I would be here again. In this in between world. Is this a parallel dimension? Am I on another plane? Am I visiting yours or are you in mine?

It’s so strange to realise how different I felt last summer. Makes me wonder what is real.

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