Shift

At the moment I’m in the shift period after coming out of a long period of mania and obsession.

The shift I mean right now is a social one. My friends and family come closer to me. They recognize me again. It’s like a warm welcome back. Then I start to recognize myself again.

My mind becomes calm again after some sleep and acceptance of what happened in the summer and during the breakdown after that.

Things fall into place again. I’m happy re-discovering myself. Coming home to my favorite music, art, hobbies, films and just any activity that I used to love. I’m coming home from a heavy trip.

My mind calms down. Cleaned my home, gave the summer stuff a place and then found what’s left from before and put it back where it belongs. So there is some balance now.

The social shift goes both ways. People who met me last summer will find out that I’m different now. That I’m not the person they thought I was. That might dissapoint them or might be confusing. To both of us I think. They ask me about things I used to love and all of a sudden there is a different response. Some people miss that extreme rollercoaster. My older friends on the other hand are glad it’s over. Maybe some summer friends too but they miss something. It’s always a puzzle to find out how much connection is left.

And that’s okay. Some people go, some people stay.

It’s something I go through every year. It’s not fun but it is important.

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