All negative things you can connect to what I’ve done last summer aside.. you cannot say I didn’t gave it my all. And all though it might have been because I’m a loose cannon or because I’m reckless or that I’ve done some things that might not be as great when I’m older.
Still did some pretty fucking awesome things. That I wouldn’t have liked missing as an experience to learn from. Like a bukkake party, escort work, doing porn, traveling to the US by myself. I might not have done it if I wasn’t the way I am. Daring to do all these things I think still is badass anyway 🙂
And I shouldn’t regret it because other people do not understand. Or feel shame now that I’m in a different mental state at the moment. Things were different then because mentally I was in a different place and I did make choices that seemed right at the time. Not being aware of the fact that I was in a tunnel vision. I needed it to learn about myself and maybe when I feel like it I will do some things again but from a different, healtier mindset.
Guess I can let that go now. Xx