Feel like I’m only oversharing endless pain and can’t imagine people wanting to read this. There is just so much pain inside me that is coming out lately. There is still so much from where it comes from. It’s not like I’m some victim who all this happened to. Actually I know very well that there is something wrong with me.
Just know that I’m still lost. I still don’t feel alright in my skin. Like I’ve lost myself along the way and still feel out of control. In the end my loved ones hurt because I got all this pain inside. And I feel sorry for them, that they love me because I know it will only make them hurt and then leave. Because I bring out pain, so I understand that they don’t want to be with me anymore. They want a better life for themself without pain. Which I understand.