Lying awake, wondering how I could ever be so stupid thinking that anyone could love me enough to stay with me.. though all that baggage I’m carrying. That anyone would dare to look through it all, actually see me and not run away.
But will support me while I safe myself from drowning.
Clearly I’m so damaged that when I try to get out of this mindset, it still ends up in destruction and I’ve ran out of ways to try and change this.
One of my moms best friends is dying all of a sudden. She knows him since she was 14. He’s leaving his wife and two sons behind. It’s so sad. My moms really not herself right now. It was good being with her and looking after my little brother for her.
It made me sad to think, that life can just end so quickly. Why is it so hard to love, to enjoy life, to feel happy and peacefull?