Finally had a fun shoot again. More creative and kinky in a fun way, not in a porny way. It was difficult to do this through deep feelings of depression. It’s difficult to do photoshoots when you feel disgusted by yourself. In the beginning I had serieus black outs and almost bursted out in panic and tears. The photographer was super helpfull and throughout the shoot I started to feel a little better. Doing photoshoots is so different now compared to when I was hypomanic. I feel so shy and insecure. Haven’t seen the results yet but it can be less beautiful because I’m more insecure now. On the other hand they could turn out more real and pure. We’ll see.
Next saturday I got a little underground project with my stoner friends. A shoot for a webshop. Will be a fun way to see if I can become more inspired and creative. Could be a little pick me up.
On friday morning I’m going to have coffee with a like minded kinkster who gets my crazy borderline mind. That will be good. Makes me feel less like an alien.
Music: Change – Deftones
Here’s a sample of today..