Porn production w/ Rick Angel & doll space :)

This morning Daddy gave me a lift to the location of my second shoot with Rick Angel. Yesterday we did a POV video for the French magazine Union. Today a little scene in Rick’s next movie 🙂

Like yesterday I was mostly nervous when acting. Having sex is just way easier since it comes natural and as a submissive I’ve let Rick guide me through the experience. We worked with the same camera man who filmed my last movies for Jacquie et Michel 🙂 Both were super helpfull and easy to work with. Yet again I felt completely at easy and respected. Which is most important to me, I want to enjoy real pleasure. This way it didn’t feel like work at all.

Actually I was awake most of the night and after only a few hours of sleep I had to doll up, to arrive on the location one hour later. Before having coffee lol! I am so happy to have made it, although I was sleep walking.. Rick made me feel so in the moment that I didn’t notice my jetlag anymore. And I know that however I feel, a kink or porn shoot always picks me up! When I was still shooting with RopeMarks often I felt super tired but just gave it my all and that usually was more than I expected. Simply because I love, love, love doing what I do. And yes, I do miss working with RopeMarks. It was always so much fun! 😀

The chemistry with Rick Angel was great! Really enjoyed fucking and creating the photo’s and video’s. He teached me new sex positions too. I had so much fun! Now that I remember them a bit better it becomes even more easy to completely give in. Sometimes I feel so happily empty inside my head. Just couldn’t think anymore. All I can do is just give into submission and follow the lead. Which is my natural state of being. Leading myself can make me shy or uncomfortable but in a way it is exciting if I am told to lead more. Only if I’m taken over and being controlled completely afterwards of course 😛 Being properly used by a dominant who is strong and leading as well as gentle… eugh, I just melt… Between my legs too! It’s just pure happiness. Love feeling usefull and submissive. Last few times I wrote about being unable to submit completely. Of course there is my natural way of following in daily life. What I mean is simply being touched gently in a way that doesn’t even has to be kinky, or hard or strict. I just felt the weight of the world fall off my shoulders. My mustles are so tight lately but I only noticed now that I felt completely relaxed and submissive for just a moment. Maybe being tired made it impossible to fight my submissive feelings. Feelings I might unconciously block.

It feels so good to submit this way. It’s not always going hand in hand with being horny. It’s my mind becoming peacefully quiet. Feeling warm inside and comfortably fragile. Wanting to let go and give in. Usually I become super quiet and at ease, just almost still. The deeper I go, the less I do out of myself. It might sound boring but it is super intense. I just become more lifeless on the outside but on the inside there is this whole universe waking up and blooming inside me like the birth of a new star. Today I felt it like a whisper far away. But it can grow and take over me entirely. Coming over me in waves of exstacy. Like a trance, spacing my brains out. Until I’m a nothing but a raggdoll in heaven. It is an intense trip but a different one then when I have during an active play scene like during my bukkake party with BukkakeMadness. But in both spaces I am completely gone. Gone out of my mind. Out of my body.

When I was a teenager I already had these intense experiences of completely going inside myself. Lifeless but in complete exstacy. As if I was sleeping but I just felt so out of my body that it was hard to move. When lying on the bed I would feel my body sink into the matrass. Sinking and floating on a cloud at the same time. Breathing deep and so slow my body hardly even moved.

Though I heared everything around me clearly.. and every little touch was amplified and the more gentle and sexy the more fireworks sparkling in my mind and hot waves going through my body. Back then, as a teenager, I never had these experiences on purpose and it never became really sexual. I just came out of it because daily life disturbed me and brought me back. But I must have lied there forever just waiting to be discovered by a doll owner who would play with me. Actually sounds a bit sad this way. That’s why I discarded these experiences but I am remembering it now. Understanding better why I like to be a bimbo doll 🙂 I don’t want my fetish, my kink, to just live inside my head but actually live it. Even if it is hidden in a moment. A moment full of exstacy.

It is funny how life goes and how past experiences can suddenly have meaning. And can revive you after a period of loose ends.

Blocking my submissive feelings and headspace never brought me any good. So I’m happy to have found it again. Opening me up. I think I’ve just been hurt by Doms falling away from me, whatever the reason. And not trusting enough to open up to anyone again. Whatever the connection; life partners, work partners or play partners.

Feeling open to give in is what it is all about. And I remember one of my last dates.. That I wrote about. Oh my, I just so wanted to give in to that submissive feeling. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t let go and turn into a raggdoll.

So today was super great. Looking forward to seeing the photo’s and video’s we made today! Will be so cool! Of course no raggdoll space but close. Perfectly happy in the moment.

Daddy picked me up afterwards. I was so broken and tired but that doesn’t matter because of feeling really satisfied and happy! 🙂

Now I am at the Wyylde radio studio with Daddy because he’s working. So took this time to write ‘cause I don’t understand French at all. Luckely there is champagne 😛 Now Daddy is done working so until next time! Xx

With love,

Sleepy Arienh Xx ❤

Music: Despacito – Luis Fonsi ft. Daddy Yankee

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