Oh my god, yet again I am completely crashing now that I’m back in Paris with my Daddy! So tired! Looking at my last post it’s obvious that I was running on empty and not able to just let go of the negativity people throw at me. Normally when I’m fit I don’t really care.
At home I’ve got so much on my mind. Always busy, thoughts on my work. When I have time to chill I just want to be alone or see a friend that tried to hang out with me in like forever! Often we plan to chill but then there’s work all of a sudden and have to cancel. I’m often free when they work etc.
This month was crazy, everything broke at home. Gas, electra, wifi, lights, microwave.. Had to prepare all the paperwork for my flight to new york.
There was no work the first few weeks so I ran on empty. Then one week I had so much work I made almost twice my rent in 4 days. In the time there was no work I planned shoots, re-decorated my home. Painted my bedroom wall. Threw old crap out and making sure it got picked up by a secondhand store.
My Dutch Daddy who broke contact with me six weeks ago all of a sudden came back into my life. Which caused some emotional disbalance as well.
And so fucking on! .. I said all that before. Going to bore myself lol!
Normally I have to make all the choices. Run my own home. Being independent when it comes to work gives a lot of responsibilities. Having to deal with crazy stuff and not being able to come home and rant 10 minutes about work until you curl up against someone on the couch.. Urgh..!
There’s no space or time to be really bimbo, to let go. Honestly I felt like I wanted to do that with one date but I couldn’t. Which is actually bitter sweet.
Now I can stop thinking, stop worrying about everything. Not having to make every decision. Actually I can’t anymore. Don’t even want to anymore most of the time. Just mind on empty, blank, airhead and perfectly at peace. “What do you want to eat?” It’s already too difficult for me now. No lies. If I have to choose I pick what I know. Or even ask to be released from even simple decision making. I trust that he will make the best choice. Daddy is always right and I say this because of past experiences. Not as something to start with, like some rule. We have no rules. I can just go back to my natural state.
Feeling peacefull, obedient and after regaining my strenght also enthousiastic, energetic and horny as hell 🙂 Being Daddy’s happy slutty fuck doll. My natural state.
Daddy is working now and I can finally submit, relax, recharge and enjoy bimbo life. That’s what he gives me and I am so incredibly thankfull!
All I want to think about is how to do my make up. Seriously. Yesterday I decided to experiment with my eyebrows but I need to practise a lot! It’s more difficult than I thought. All I want to worry about is how to do it properly and be perfect and plastic. And spend time on perfecting my make up and work on my skills. Or trying to find the right product for the best result.
Or like, watching bimbo porn video’s or scroll through tumblr for an hour or whatever. Watching make up tutorials or vlogs from other bimbo dolls. Listening to hypno files on repeat until I am completely empty and peacefull. Dressing up over and over again until I find the perfect look.. making selfies and more and more and more… Or spending hours in the bathroom taking care of my body and all that just relaxing.
Until Daddy tells me what we will do that day. Or comes over to use me and play with his dolly. All I can do is just be bubbly and happy. Coming over to show off the progress of my look or make up.. Asking Daddy what he likes me to wear..
I really should become better at doing my hair btw.. And I want to start practising squirting. Want to get better at that 🙂 So that will be fun!
Today I got a really cute pink lingerie set from René! Thank you sweetheart for buying me this gift from my wishlist! It’s super sweet! I love it and it’s just perfectly bimbo! Looking forward to meeting you soon!
Have been wearing it when we went out for dinner. The pink peaked out from under my mini skirt. So cute!!! Living for it! 🙂
Time to undress and my night time routine. This dolly is going back to her pink Barbie Box! Zzz… Tie me up in there and never set me free please!! Oh my god! I’m so relieved, want it to never stop. Dolly can finally be dolly again 🙂
Love you guys! Xx ❤