The Finger

Got something on my heart actually and it’s not just the nerves for flying by myself.

Although I have amazing followers and friends who support me, there are people who are so incredibly rude. It makes me sad.

You are sitting behind your screen, thinking you know all about me. Maybe you’ve seen me somewhere or watched my movies. Sure you just totally get me.

But, fuck NO you don’t.. I’ve been together with people who after years still didn’t understand me or what I’m doing with my life. MY life. The life that everyone always think they have anything to say about. But guess what? You don’t!

A lot of things have changed in my life over the last few months because I made choices on my own, to live the life that I truely want to live. Fuck everyone else I am the only one who knows what makes me happy. Fuck doing only socially accepted things. Start living. I have always wanted to do the things that I do now. I whored for the wrong reasons when I was just 18 and yes I got fucking scarred from it. Literally. And you know?! I fucking love my scars and everything that I went through because it made me as strong as I am now. As you know, I don’t hide them but I don’t show them off eighter. They are just there, like my septum ring. I forget it’s there. They are a part of me, so why hide them? They say: BEAUTIFUL! πŸ™‚

Don’t assume behind your desk, behind your screen, that you know me.

Or saying with that disgusted tone that you worry about me. Those feelings are worlds apart. Or are you not sensitive enough to know the fucking difference? You are cold and mean and careless.

And yes, I do EVERYTHING for the money.. that’s what you think right? Just said I fucking LOVE whoring in all my blog posts.. but I don’t do kink for money because of safety reasons.. The thing I loved the most to begin with.

Btw:THIS.IS.MY.JOB. How do you pay the rent? With air?! You think I chose the easy life? Where everything just comes easy? That I never struggle? Why do you think people help me out?!

People say: If nobody hates you, you are not there yet. Well haters gonna hate, said that before!

You want me to be honest, you want me to be real. That’s all I cared about especially when I was just starting out. Yes I change in the mean time. It’s called PROGRESS.. Yes! πŸ™‚

Honesty number uno: Yes I see many people for work, yes I talk to many people online. Staying lovers: ZERO. Have I been able to connect enough with someone to try that again? No. Do I trust people enough to even date or play aside from work? No! Does my work make me feel better? Yes πŸ™‚ Do my sweet friends and followers make me happy? Yes!!! Daddies are included under FRIENDS! Does this lifestyle make me lonely? Yes but I’ve always been a lone wolf. So it’s almost my choice. Do people screw you over in this lifestyle? Fuck yes! That just makes me cut to the chase faster. I hate to waste my time on bullshit. Like I haven’t got enough of that. Because.. although I love my job for the good guys I know better than any non sex worker how little respect most people have for prostitutes. There is a reason for having a work phone.

Did you know that whores don’t sleep?! That we are always ready 24/7? And have ready every specific item ready to be used for your fucking extremely detailed fantasy that we’ve been discussing for weeks or months?

Any how many guys are fakers and don’t show up?! What the fuck! You’d be amazed! So many fakers, so many lies! Oh my god!

Whores aren’t human beings. We don’t have feelings, no limits.. You know how many times I have to REPEAT(!) my limits during or before dates? Oh My God… And of course everything I do or say is fake! Whores never cum for real, they have steel senseless cunts, duh!! Lol! If you don’t believe anything I do or say to begin with you will never be mentally open enough to see that I am true.

Oh and we can fit all your wishes in limited time! And I’m sad and need to be saved from a pimp that hurts me. NO! Strong independent lady of pleasure! Yes it is a reality.

Do I ever fall for a date? Yes! Can I act on that? No. Is that hurtfull? Yes.

Can I share how work was with my family? No. Is there someone to hug me when I come home to tell me everything is alright? No.

Makes me stronger and less naieve this lifestyle. That for sure πŸ™‚ Which is always good by the way!

Anyway. Go be mean and judge yourself instead. Don’t think you know me .. doesn’t work anyway. Don’t say you care or feel worried about me.. you don’t. Have you tried to have an open, honest conversation with me to make me think about my choices and discribed your worries? Fucking NO! So.. worries?!

Anyway, going to travel now. Will keep all the lovely people updated. Rude people, SCREW YOU! Or actually, I won’t πŸ™‚ Lol!

And now time for bimbo barbie joy, lovely pink butterflies, bubbles popping in my head and glitters everywhere…. πŸ™‚ And being a slutty fuck doll for my Daddies! πŸ˜€

Dus dikke fingerrrr!! πŸ˜‰

Music: Lil Peep & Xxxtentacion – Falling down


Oh my god, after this whole rant (which is a relieve tho..) I found a gift in my mail box! Thank you René you are so sweet! Will try it on when I am in Paris! Xx ❀

I am so lucky, although at times this lifestyle is difficult and I feel through. So many people are sweet and supportive and that’s who I want to give my attention! Love!! Xx ❀

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